“Practice self-care,” they say. 

But how?

“Self-care everyday,” they say.

But really?! When?

Now, these questions assume that you already understand the value of self-care ... the importance of taking care of you. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually.

So, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get tactical.

You want a self-care practice. Duh … That’s not where you’re getting stuck. If you’re anything like my clients and the former version of me, you’re getting stuck at the implementation phase. 

So, I’m putting a stake in the ground. If you’re craving self-care and you're struggling to get it, you need boundaries, my friend. 

How do I know? Well, because smart, capable women like you are telling me in their own words. But, more than that, I know because, once upon a time, I had to take a crash course in setting boundaries too.

One fateful Saturday I missed my 8 AM spin class at my neighborhood studio (clearly, this was ages ago). And it was a turning point ...

Put on your oxygen mask first.

I vividly remember my first flight. I was 17. My mom, who is notoriously afraid of flying, and I flew to North Carolina to visit Duke.

My mom was a nervous ball of energy. I, always the student, was oh-so-conscientiously following the flight attendant’s instructions. My eyes were darting between the attendant and the plane manual that she was referencing. I was excited and comfortable.

That is ... until I heard that line about the oxygen mask. You know the one. It’s something like, “Please put on your oxygen mask first before assisting anyone else.”

Do you remember how you felt the first time you heard that?!

I do. I felt … uncomfortable. Selfish. Nervous. Worried. Even scared.

Of course I would help my mom first! How could I help myself and leave her struggling by herself? And then I got it - if I pass out, I’ll be no help to her … or anyone else. I realized, I have to help myself first so that I’m then able to help others.

Putting your oxygen...

When I was a young girl, my dad unassumingly gave me one of my life’s mantras … during a grocery shopping trip. We had arrived at the grocery store but we were still in the parking lot, doing laps in my his truck. After maybe the third lap, I was getting annoyed. What is he doing? This is taking so long! Before too long, I couldn’t keep quiet any longer. “Dad? Why have we passed so many empty parking spots?” My dad answered immediately. “I don’t want any of them. Don’t ever settle.”

Don’t. Ever. Settle.

Don’t. Ever. Settle. Three little words. One big idea. I don’t remember exactly how old I was when my dad planted this idea in my head. I don’t even remember if I replied. But this moment has been replaying in my head ever since then. Now, this isn’t my only mantra. But it’s a big one for me. I know what I want and nothing else will do.

Now, I’m not glorifying this. It can be a little hard to swallow. However, I do think there’s great power in knowing that I hold this belief. The id...