Strong Is the New Black
If you’re anything like me, you don’t love the gym. It just feels … uncomfortable. Like, my tribe isn’t there. And that suited me just fine as a child. I was effortlessly active. I started dancing when I was three years old and continued until I was a senior in high school. I was also a sprinter and a high jumper. I kept moving but I never considered myself “working out.” I was just living my life.
My first year in college presented my first real fitness challenge. And I didn’t realize it until I returned home for the summer. In May of 1999, my grandparents and parents (who had seen me throughout the year) proclaimed over and over that I had “put on weight.” I didn’t see it and that was frustrating. So, I jumped on the scale. (Just to be clear - I don’t put much emphasis on weight. If it weren’t for my husband, I wouldn’t even have a scale in my home.) But there it was: the freshman 15. I. Was. Shocked.
My weight didn’t bother me, but my weight gain did. I definitely didn’t want to continue on this trajectory. 15 pounds a year? Three more years of college left? Ugh … I didn’t want to do the math. My first summer as a college student was full of fun - and introspection. I loved my freshman year. LOVED it. Duke was exactly what I wanted. I learned a ton, and I met amazing new people while trekking all over that humongous campus. But what didn’t I do? I didn’t spend hours and hours dancing in a studio each week. And I wasn’t running and hurling my body through the air. What did I do? I sat on my bottom and studied more than ever before. Oh, and I ate my weight in pizza - often in the predawn hours!
“The gym was full of sexy coeds ... grunting and grimacing.”
Along with shopping for my own groceries and other brand new “adulting” activities, I had to learn how to make time to move! There was a massive, shiny-new sports complex on campus and I really wanted to use it. I tried. I really did! I even went accompanied by my track-star-friend, Courtney. Going with her gave me some “gym cred,” but I still felt awkward. Courtney tried to teach me how to do a bench press (with just the bar) and it was a disaster. I couldn’t get the bar off my chest! Meanwhile, the gym was full of sexy coeds tossing plates around, grunting and grimacing into the wall-to-wall mirrors. It felt like an alternate universe and I wanted no part of it.
So, fast forward to my medical school years … Isn’t it ironic that I would marry a former certified personal trainer? Ha! The gym is absolutely one of his happy places. Put another way - when we’re booking a vacation, I browse the online photo gallery for pics of the beachfront and the guest room. My husband looks for images of the gym. (Eye roll.) He enthusiastically took on the challenge of helping me acclimate in the gym, and even appreciate it.
“Boom chicka! Boom chicka! Boom chicka!”
When we were in medical school, we worked out at Crunch Gym in Murray Hill. At the corner of 30th and 2nd. Oh, the nostalgia! My then-fiance worked out 5 days a week. So, I started going with him. But we separated at the door. “Boom chicka! Boom chicka! Boom chicka!” The music blasted from the overhead speakers. My gym buddy warmed up quickly and then hit the weights while I stayed in cardio land: on a treadmill, a stair climber or a stationary bike. Sometimes, I took a group class. In my favorite one, we jumped on mini trampolines for an hour! But I would not enter that weight room - the land of grunting and grimacing. It was just so overwhelmingly … male. More than that, everyone seemed to know what they were doing. And I didn’t. I didn’t want to embarrass myself.
“ I had a strength-training phobia more than a gym-phobia.”
Once I realized I had a strength-training phobia more than a gym-phobia, my would-be husband offered to train me. With a little tough love, he educated me about the importance of adding strength training to a purely cardiovascular workout. Contrary to some misconceptions, strength training doesn’t equal “bulking up.” Instead, it’s mostly associated with increasing lean muscle mass. And surprise! Performed at high intensity, strength training is cardiovascular exercise. It’s called high intensity interval training or HIIT. How could I say no?
“ I felt strong and strong felt good.”
For the next year, I did three to five days of strength training each week. My now-hubby, Dr. Damani, taught me how to use each machine and why. I had a lot of firsts at that Murray Hill Crunch. Leg presses. Push ups and pull ups. Squats. Dips. I even (finally!) learned how to bench press. Even better, I started to like it! Now, there was still lots of grunting and grimacing going on around me - but I was comfortable occupying my tiny space there. I felt strong and strong felt good.
So, what about you? Has a little voice inside your head been whispering, “Find a gym … Try strength training.” If so, what’s holding you back? Is it the sexy coeds? The weight plates bouncing off the floor? “Boom chicka boom chicka?!” Or, are you intimidated because you have no idea what to do once you’re there? (If it’s something I haven’t even mentioned, leave me a comment below.) When you’re building a completely new habit in a totally new place, even the smallest challenges can seem overwhelming. Like, is it just me or is that combo lock impossible?! If that rings true to you, here are four suggestions to help you find your comfort zone with strength training.
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Start with a gym buddy.
Go with a trusted friend. Being in good company just feels good and it can ease the anxiety. Hanging with a friend who is already a member of the gym “tribe” can be an added bonus. You can learn some new skills in a supportive environment. When I got started, I always went with my gym buddy. But, before too long, I would go to the gym alone.
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Take advantage of a personal trainer.
When you start strength training, you need to know (1) what to do (2) how to do it and (3) why. A certified personal trainer can offer priceless guidance and advice here. He or she can keep you company and train you in exercises that can help you reach your goal. Not ready for that much commitment? Most gyms offer at least a personal training trial - one free session. Even just one session with a trainer can help you get acclimated and boost your confidence. Then, you can fly on your own!
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Use earbuds!
This is my favorite! Nothing says, “I’m in the zone right now” like wearing your earbuds or AirPods. It’s a way of more fully occupying your tiny space in the gym. It’s also a way to block out the surround sound “boom chicka boom chicka” if it’s not your vibe. For me - music is energizing, uplifting and soothing all at once. I prefer a playlist with lots of bass drops and cheeky lyrics. But don’t feel restricted to music. Try podcasts or audiobooks too!
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Do. You.
What’s your intention in the gym? Do you want to find your ideal weight? Are you aiming to have Michelle-Obama-arms? Either way - set your aim and move toward it each time you train. Remind yourself, as many times as is necessary, to be unmoved by what others around you are doing. Between intervals, try tracking your progress. You can use a handwritten journal or an app like MyFitnessPal. This will help you stay focused on yourself!
I hope this helps! I remember feeling like an outsider at the gym and even worse in the weight room. But for the last 15 years, I can walk right in with confidence. I can get in the zone. Get to work. And get out and onto the next thing! You can too!
