Healthy habits pave the road to your dreams!
I coach because helping you get from where you are to where you want to be lights me up!
It’s an honor for me to be by your side as you dream big and knock down your goals, one by one.
With every goal that you set and meet, you get closer to your dream. I think of your goals as the roadmap to your dream. So, if you want to make your dream come true, you need goals. And you have to make reaching your goals inevitable.
But how do you do it? How do you reach your goals?
To be successful, you need a system. And an essential part of that system is your habits. But not just any habits - healthy ones.
For this to really work, you need to understand it. Otherwise, it’s just a bunch of meaningless steps. With that said, here are some key ideas about habits:
- What is a habit?
- What makes a habit healthy?
- How do you make a healthy habit anyway?
- And how long will it take to make this healthy habit?
What is a habit?
First of all, without your knowledge, there’s a lot going on inside your habits. A habit is actually a loop. Specifically, it’s a feedback loop. Ok, really, it’s a positive feedback loop.
Without getting too science-y, a positive feedback loop is a process that ends with an outcome that encourages more and more of the process. So, then you get more and more of the outcome.
Global warming is a quick example of a positive feedback loop. The climate is getting warmer which melts icebergs. Less ice makes the climate warmer … which melts the ice. Ta da! A positive feedback loop.
Habits work just like that. To look more closely at the habit loop, consider the habit of eating a fresh donut each morning. Uh huh … I’m channeling myself, as a junior and senior in high school, Monday through Friday. As soon as I could drive myself to the donut shop, I ate a donut. Every. Day.
The first part of the habit loop is a cue. This may also be called a trigger. In the case of heading to the donut shop, the cue may be driving to work. As soon as you’re on your way, your focus goes to the donut.
On to the next phase of the loop, your craving. You are craving that donut. You want it and only it. You need it. And maybe it even feels like an obsession.
Next, is the action. This is the part of the habit loop that usually gets all the attention. In this example, the action is that you actually go buy that donut. Oh! And you eat it!
Once you eat the donut, you get to the final step of the habit loop, the reward. This is the feeling that you were anticipating up until the moment you ate the donut. You get to taste that sugary, deliciousness. And you feel delight. Or excitement. Even euphoria! It’s this feeling that you really want, more than you want the donut itself.
And then what? The reward that you crave keeps you in the loop. So, the next morning, you want to get up and do it all again. So, then what do you do when you’re heading off to work? You start thinking about the donut. And then you get the donut which makes you happy. And around and around the habit loop goes.
What is a healthy habit?
Habits can be both positive and negative. I like to call positive habits healthy. But habits are so often discussed as something that needs to be broken. Here are some examples:
- I have a habit of biting my fingernails.
- I can’t stop drinking soda. It’s a habit!
- I want to break the habit of falling asleep on the couch.
Habits like these are tricky because the craving is so strong and the reward is so immediate. More than that, the reward feels good! And the immediate, good feeling is so … obvious! Like the donut. You want to say yes! to it.
On the other hand, the reward from a healthy habit is less likely to be immediate. You'll probably have to wait for it. And waiting is annoying. And frustrating. And disconcerting. It may start to feel like work. Ugh … can you feel yourself losing interest in this so-called healthy habit?
No wonder bad habits are stealing the spotlight! It’s the immediate satisfaction they offer! In comparison, a healthy habit - and it’s far-off benefit - is a hard sell! So, why would anyone pick a healthy habit?
You choose the healthy habit because it builds you up. It helps you honor and respect yourself. The healthy habit leaves you feeling stronger and better than you were before. Can the unhealthy habit claim that? Nah ...
But healthy habits might not feel good when you're in the midst. They may feel frustrating. Or even uncomfortable. But that’s only temporary. A healthy habit is leading you to become more.
So, here’s a test. If you’re trying to determine if a habit is healthy or not, ask yourself Is this serving me? How? And in the case of something like eating a donut every day, you might answer Yes. The donut is delicious and you enjoy it; so, it’s serving you. But dig a little deeper. You know (I think) that eating a donut everyday isn’t getting you closer to your dream life. In fact, it’s probably hurting you. So, this habit doesn’t pass the test. It’s not healthy.
So, how do you make a healthy habit?
To make a healthy habit, you have to bring its long-term benefit to the forefront of your mind. Healthy habits have a reward! Their rewards just tend to be delayed. But the reward can be huge!
As I mentioned at the start of this post, your dream life is your true reward! I mean … could a reward get any better?! Dreams are beautiful, and inspiring and motivational. But are you satisfied with dreaming? Or would you like to see the dream come true?
I think this works best if the dream is really good. Make it big. If you make it really big, you might feel a bit scared. Great! That’s a good sign! That means you’re really stretching yourself. Because your dream has to be so extraordinary that it makes you want to turn away from anything that won’t lead you there.
If you’re struggling to let yourself dream, try this: Visualize your future self. No, scratch that. Visualize the best version of your future self. Maybe 10 years from now. Where do you live? Who lives with you? What do you do? How do you look? How do you feel? Remember - this is a dream. So, it doesn’t have any limits. Nothing is impossible! So, dream up a big, marvelous dream.
Now, how does that feel? Maybe a bit scary. But does it feel delightful? Exciting? Even euphoric? I’m willing to bet it feels better than eating a donut. Am I right? The way this massive dream makes you feel is the craving of all cravings! I’d love to see you live out your dream. So, keep it close to your heart. Think about it often. Visualize it. Want it. Need it!
Be willing to delay your satisfaction. But believe that it’ll be worth it. Keep the spotlight on your dream and let healthy habits support you all the way there!
And how long will it take to make this healthy habit?
According to Merriam-Webster, a habit is:
- a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior
- an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary
A habit is automatic. It just … happens. You don’t have to think about it.
But how long does it take for a habit to become automatic? Because it certainly doesn’t start out that way. Think of a baby. Babies aren’t born with habits. You know how a baby looks when she first learns to transition from sitting to standing? It’s such an intentional set of movements. Probably too many movements, to be honest! And the movement is slow. And wobbly!
But give that baby a couple of months and watch out! Not only can she stand up in the blink of an eye ... before you can blink twice, she’s sprinting across the room to pick up whatever she wants!
Her physical ability went from shaky to silky smooth in what seemed like an instant! First, she developed a ritual, a series of actions put together in a certain order. Then, soon, it was part of her nature. Because she repeated these actions, in order, over and over again. She was consistent.
There’s no trick or hack to building healthy habits. Nope, no magic either. The magic is in your routine. The magic is in the repetition. To get from where you are to where you want to be, focus on what you do every day. You have to be consistent!
So, how long does it take to build a healthy habit? is a trick question. You may hear that it takes 21 days. Or 30 days. Or 66 days. And Malcolm Gladwell wrote about putting in 10,000 hours to master something. But I feel that none of these time periods is really correct.
There is no set amount of time to make a habit. Now, when it comes to eating habits, 21 days has been shown - over and over again - to bring about measurable, positive change. But that still doesn’t mean the habit is well-established. It takes a lifetime to make a healthy habit!
The key to making a habit stick is to just keep going. If you miss a habit once, you may be able to pick it up without too much trouble. But if you miss twice, you’re on your way to making a new habit. So, just don’t stop. Don’t give up! Think of your healthy habits as a lifestyle, not an endpoint.
Take your craving and use it to energize actions that build you up. Crave your dream. And then build habits, that will rebuild your reality into your dream life.
If you’re ready to level up your habits, know that you don't have to do it alone. If you’d like some support, consider working with me. Click here to learn more!
